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The Best Revenge on Your Enemies

Everyone has conflict in their lives.   We cannot all get along all the time.  Most of us can resolve our conflicts quite easily while other people find themselves in situations where their former friend is now an enemy.

women arguing

So what should you do if your “used to be” friend is now telling your business, talking about you behind your back and spreading vicious rumors?

Initially, you might want to find the inner ghetto in you and get some revenge.  Believe it or not, I agree that it is a good thing, but how do you get the best revenge on people who have wronged you?

  1. Don’t fall victim to the name calling.  If someone calls you up and says that “Sue” your former friend is saying things about you, be polite, smile and say I don’t remember things being that way.  I am sorry that Sue has such a poor memory about our friendship.  I miss our relationship where we could be honest about things and not spread gossip.
  2. The person calls you to get in the last word.  Don’t rise to the occasion and yell and scream.  Simply say, “I know you have a lot to get off your chest. I really wish that I could be the person to help you with this but since our friendship has ended on bad terms, I don’t want to say more things that we don’t mean.”  Hang up the phone and utilize your caller id.  Don’t answer again.
  3. If your “friend” has spread evil through social media, post a simple message.  It could say something like this, “My friend and I recently had a conflict.  He/she is hurting because of the demise of our friendship.   I want to apologize on her behalf and acknowledge the fact that she has brought everyone into our conflict.  If you could kindly refrain from making judgments on either of us, it would be helpful as we both heal from this great loss.”

Personally, I don’t believe that revenge has to be spiteful and harsh.  Sometimes the best revenge is taking the high road and letting the other person make a jerk out of him/herself.  How do you handle conflicts?   Are you revengeful?  If you are, would you say you are destructive or peaceful?

If you like to seek revenge, remember that if you are taking the high road and not engaging in the bitter behavior, it is hard for a person to continue their assault.

Always Believe in Yourself, Cynthia

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11 comments

  1. There are many times when I wanted to get back at someone. Sometimes I use to wish I had telekinetic powers where I could mess that person up, I was so mad, but at the end of the day, I still believe in Karma. What you put out in this world will come back to you, ten-fold.

    When people do bad things to me, trust me if I could pip-slap them I would because “I am not the one”, but then I look back thinking, what’s the point? It makes matters worse and I would rather turn the cheek, because what goes around comes around. It might not happen when we want it, but eventually “life” will hit them hard and they will pay for all the wrong things they do.
    Sonia recently posted…Blogger Spotlight: Cynthia Tolbert-Wilson, RichlyMiddleClass.comMy Profile

  2. i can pretty much deal with the petty name calling and other stuff, but when someone calls to get the last word – like they’re going to force me to listen and i’ve clearly said i’m done – that’s when i lose it. needless to say, the relationships are never the same after that. and for me, the revenge is then about not giving the person the power and control they obviously need. this was good…thank you.
    miss donna recently posted…fashion blogging lessons | break the rulesMy Profile

    • Miss Donna,

      The last word thing is craziness. It reminds me of a child. My child always has to get the last word. She is seven so I understand her need to my her little voice be heard, adults on the older hand that is another story. I don’t understand why people become so immature at the end of a friendship. It is over, move forward with your maturity and both people reputation in tact.
      cynthiatw recently posted…Oh My, look at the Size of that Thing!My Profile

  3. You make a great point here Cynthia.

    I know when I was younger the ghetto in me would come out roaring girl :) but I soon realized it got me nowhere and I looked foolish. I think it’s classier for a person to take the high road like you said and not sink to the other party’s level.

    I like the suggestion on how to handle the social media drama, I’ve seen my share and jeeze…it’s just crazy.

    Hope you’ve been having a great week so far!
    Corina Ramos recently posted…Awesome Mother’s Day Giveaway – $800 in Amazon eCards!My Profile

    • Hi Corina,

      You are right, when the ghetto comes out in a person, regardless of them being right or wrong, the person tends to look foolish and if they have over reacted so I tend to take the high road on issues and let the person other person make a jerk of her/his self. The week is going really well so fair.
      cynthiatw recently posted…The Best Revenge on Your EnemiesMy Profile

  4. Very good post Cynthia! When I was younger, I got angry and thought vengeful thoughts but never acted upon them. As I got older, I took the high road. They way I see it, if someone wants to betray my friendship, it’s their loss. I’m a good person and am open to many different types of people and friendships however I will not tolerate hateful, negative, backstabbing liars in my life. Those type of people will drag you down and suck the life right out of you. Not time for that in my life. ;)
    Bren recently posted…Go With Your Own GlowMy Profile

    • Hi Bren,

      Thank you so much. We all have revengeful thoughts. It is the acting on them that gets us in a lot of trouble. When I was younger I could play out a scenario in my head but I would never do anything about it. I guess the fact that I allowed myself to think the thought calm down the anger that I felt. You are right, hateful, negative, backstabbing people will drain you of everything. When I see that a person is like that I tend to leave them alone. There is so much more to life.
      cynthiatw recently posted…Four Ways to Spice up Your Relationship. No Purchase RequiredMy Profile

  5. I don’t tell anyone anything I wouldn’t want spread around not even my besties I keep the most important stuff between me and God so I will never have to worry about someone telling my business because there won’t be much to tell. I have never had to seek revenge cause I never tell anyone my business its probably the reason I don’t have many friends but I also keep mess to a minimum. I have had friends that will seek revenge and it makes them feel better but at the end of the day you are letting someone take up space in your mind and aura wasting time and not doing you. Great post
    Kita recently posted…Chicken Pot Pie CupcakesMy Profile

    • Hi Kita,

      That is definitely away to make sure that you are not vulnerable to other by not telling people anything that you would not want others to know about you. I am like you, I will take a secret to my death. I feel if someone told me something in confidence regardless of the status of our friendship now, I still have to keep that secret. And also like you I do keep my friends to a minimum as well. I only have a handful of close friend right now. One that I have known since I was in my 20s and Heather.
      cynthiatw recently posted…Mother’s Day Brunch On A BudgetMy Profile

  6. Hi Cynthia:

    I’ll bet this happens to lots of “best friends” not just in the playground but in the adult world. Lives change. One person moves on and the other is resentful or needy and usually hurt feelings follow.”

    I’ve always found it a good rule to THINK those things the mean girl in me would like to SAY but to keep them to myself. If the friendship rejuvenates you don’t want those nasty things you wanted to say to become an impassable block to the friendship.

    Good article!

    Gail
    glennon recently posted…Skin Cancer PreventionMy Profile

    • Hi Gail,

      I have lost a few close friends but I have a rule that I don’t tell your business. That has happened to me on several occasions and I don’t like the feelings. I just have a rule regardless of what is going on in our lives not, the past secrets that we shared to stay in the past. Once you start telling each others secrets, the friendship can not be repaired.
      Cynthia recently posted…Are You Among the Walking Dead?My Profile

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