There are days when I think that May West said it best.
[quote]“Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution.” [/quote]
Before I get myself formally banned from the places that any respectable woman would want to be seen, let me explain myself: Marriage is a really great thing–when you have the right person.
Ladies, there are many reasons why a man won’t marry you, but has no problem treating you like a notch in his bed post. Unfortunately, most women never even notice these issues until the breakup, and even then, most think the man is just a dog. The truth is: Some women are great girlfriends and just aren’t good wives. Here are some reasons why:
Some Women are Bad with Finances!
Women, men don’t need you to make a ton of money. However, we do like to see that you are smart with the money that you make. If you max out on your cards, your cell phone is cut off, your electric bill is always on final notice, but you have on designer clothing, that is a red flag to a man. It shows him that you are not financially stable. We would rather see you in the last year’s fashions from Target with your financial act together rather than admire you clad in Gucci, but with bills up to your expensively clothed posterior! Women who are bad with money, or who make men bad with money when we are dating them, scare men who are good with money. Women seek out men who are financially stable. But, sometimes, those women aren’t financially stable. We men don’t like feeling like a paycheck or that our hard work will be for naught if we stay with you. Men, this is sound financial advice even if you are not looking for a permanent relationship. Ladies, we want to know that women can be the ambassadors of their own domain before we agree to share one with you.
Some Women are Bad With Children!
I will be honest. Most men (no matter what we say) when we have a relationship talk with you, kids are not on our minds. We are simple creatures. We are into what is right in front of us. We have those relationship talks only because it makes you happy. However, if we are not opposed to children, we want to know that you would be a good mother. So, if your man wants kids, you need to be good with kids. In our society, your new man could have children from a previous relationship. We want to know, in that case, that you will be good with our present (and maybe future)kids.
If you meet a man that feels that kids are a must for his future, you need to ask yourself: Do I want children? I have met a lot of women that don’t think that children are right for their future. I respect a woman’s right to choose. If you don’t see kids in your future, you need to let the guy know. If, for him, kids are a deal breaker, there is no need to invest in a situation that has no future. If you think that you might want a child or two in the future, the next question you might want to ask yourself: Am I good with kids? If you’re not, and he wants kids, you may want to consider ways to spend time getting comfortable with children. If you can’t see yourself with kids and he wants them, you don’t want to be a bride anytime soon for this type of guy.
Some Women are Bad at Housekeeping and other Domestic Duties
How tidy you are can determine if the relationship will move forward. I am a pretty tidy guy so I would like a partner who is tidy too. I am not saying your house needs to be spotless all the time. That type of person just doesn’t exist. Every guy has been forced to watch The Wedding Planner where Jennifer Lopez is vacuuming the curtain rod. Just for the record: That is not the type of cleanliness that I am speaking of. I just need the basics: Wipe the crumbs off the counter. Empty the garbage cans. Throw away your Chinese takeout boxes that have been sitting in the bedroom since the last time I was over. Can you work the coffeemaker and the toaster? You don’t have to be a gourmet cook. However, it would be nice, if we got snowed in, to know that we could take turns running the toaster. Sharing housekeeping and cooking duties may be an expectation in your role as a wife. If you think your guy is holding out on marrying you because of your domestic skills, talk to him about what he wants from his wife. If he wants something you can’t give, maybe you should reconsider how much you want to be his wife.
Some Women are too Controlling.
Seriously, ladies, you don’t have to call or text me every ten minutes! Chances are, if our relationship is good, I am not out being a dog. If the relationship is bad, I may or may not be out being a dog. Do you monitor your guy’s every move? Does he still have some of the same freedoms he had before he met you? If you have eliminated all his old relationships and activities, he may think that marrying you will make his life even more restricted. We men like to feel we are free–even when we are not. So having to report our every move to you will make us long for some of our freedom back. If you are too controlling, you may find yourself not only unmarried, but also dateless.
My Friends don’t like You!
Yes, what my friends think of you is important. Everybody has to pass the friends test. This is not sexist. Guys have to get your friends’ approval too, girls. No, it isn’t as simple as “bros before ho’s.” A guy’s friends are his friends for a reason. They have things in common. Chances are, they like many of the same things. If you don’t fit in with them, how can we expect to build a lasting relationship? You’ll more than likely spend a lot of time with his friends. Couples tend to get together. So, if everyone starts to avoid him because he is with YOU, that could be a big issue. If you don’t get along with my friends, it will make things harder for me.
Ladies, there is no science in what gets a man to commit except honesty. I cannot stress this one enough: While honesty will get you seventy-five percent of the way to the altar, there are a few more basic rules to increase your chances of marriage–if that is your goal. So, when you start questioning whether your boyfriend is ever going to marry you or if you’re merely a fling for him, look at what YOU may be contributing to his indecisive behavior.
Examine if he may be right for you, or if you’re right for him.