Are you a Modern Day Mommy Slave?

It is funny how you can go through life trying in vain to please everyone.  I have spent most of my life doing that. I guess, as southern women, we are taught to take care of our family and put them before ourselves.  We are taught that we are secondary to the life that we have created and the person whom we chose to marry.  When I look back at the lives of family members and friends, I find myself asking: Is that kind of thinking a recipe for disaster?

In a lot of ways, our society has advanced.  Women are allowed to vote.   Women are holding positions as executives in large corporations.   The days of Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman are over.  If medicine is your profession, you can practice it just as successfully as your male colleagues.  But, have we advanced when it comes to being a caregiver to our families?

Slavery was abolished in the 1800s.  At that time, it was said that you could no longer own another person for the purpose of labor.  I am sure that you are wondering where I am going with this!

As a mother, do you ever feel like you are a modern-day slave and your spouse and children are the slave masters?   Do you feel like you spend all your time reverting back to those days of enslavement every time, you hear, “Mommy!” or see your husband walk into the kitchen with yet another dirty dish after you asked repeatedly for everyone to bring any dirty dishes into the kitchen before you start the dishwasher?

Do you ever stand in your laundry room with a mammoth pile of laundry up to your knees on the floor, a load in the dryer, one in the washer, two baskets on the table needing ironing, and mound of clothing on the sofa that has to be folded and put away by 3:00 p.m. and it is now 2:00 p.m?   Is this your life?

Are you the modern day slave mommy?  Do you get up at 5 because that is the only quiet time that you have?  But, before you can sit down for your quiet time, you have to clean a pile of toys from the sofa that you were sure that you cleaned up just before bath time.   Do you have to look where you are sitting because you might sit on a half-eaten bag of chips that your husband left for you to clean up?

Now that you have taken the time to remove the toys, you find that it is easier to just clean them up and put them away.  And, since your husband has left another bag of chips on the sofa that you have manage to crunch up (Of course, it is your fault because you should have looked!) you have to pull out the hand vac and clean them up, too.   So an hour of your “me” time has passed and the early risers have started to come downstairs. So much for that hour to yourself!!

“Mommy, I am thirsty!”

“Honey have you seen my keys?”

“Bark, Bark, Bark! (I need a walk!)”

“Meow, Meow, Meow! (Please fill my bowl.)”

“Mom, did you wash my purple shirt?”

“Honey did you hear me? I cannot find my keys.”

In order to stop the noises in your head, you hand your husband the keys that are sitting on the counter right in front of him. You get a glass of water for the little one, and run upstairs to hand the purple shirt that was sitting right on top of her dresser to your child.

Now, you have to get back downstairs whip up a gourmet breakfast of cereal and milk before you start your chores.

Where is the “me” time that I planned? you think.  Are you a modern day mommy slave?

Let’s think about this in the context of the life of a slave:

1. Your job would have been to work from sun up to sunset.
2. There was no such thing as “me” time (although the slaves DID gather for singing and socializing after the field work was done and supper was eaten!)
3. You did not get a day off.
4. You were assigned work.
5. You had to deal with over-demanding and yelling bosses.
6. Chores around the plantation were endless.

Hmmm. And how is my life different? You muse.

I know that mommyhood is a lifestyle choice –unlike slavery.   But there are days when we look at our lives and think:  Wow! I am a modern day slave. And, I chose this life!

Ladies, I know that motherhood is supposed to be a labor of love. But, there are mornings when I wish that my labor of love included time for just a cup of tea and one hour to myself before the family came down.

I feel there are days when my family is the slave master and I am the slave. For those of you who have this mommy/wife thing down to a science, give a girl some advice!  All though, I would appear to be whining, I must add one finally statement.

I will admit that my mommy life can sometimes be exhausting, overwhelming, and downright depressing BUT, I would not trade my mommy slave days for all the tea in England!

Hope you are having a perfect Wednesday!

Cynthia