Have you noticed; the older you get the harder it is to make a good friend? Have you noticed that your friendship has dwindled to just a few or none?
Over the course the decades, it appears that it is harder to make good friends. When we enter into your 30s and 40s, we have more quality conversations and life is not all about the superficial twenty something none sense like the designer shoes or your foreign overpriced sport car but the quality of relationship that we build seem to dwindle. In midlife, it appears the days of the best friend or the long chats with your girls and a glass of wine have hit some sort of fatalism. Even the number of birthday and Christmas cards that you send out are few.
When we were basking in our twenties, we could not image going a day without speaking to our B.F.F or getting together for an occasional dinner or drink. It did not matter how tired we were, we would make the time for our friends. Once you hit midlife, you are lucky if you call once a quarter.
Are We Neglectful?
As we grow older and have more responsibility, it seems only natural that life would get in the way of friendships. And let’s face it; once you allow life to get in the way of friendships, it is difficult to get over the hump of rekindling our yesterday companions and incorporating them in our new found commitments. Most of us would not see this as neglectful; you would see this as moving on with your life. We often don’t see the reduction in our friendship pool as neglectful until we have a crisis and realize that we cannot pick up the phone and call anyone because we have not spoken with our friends in several years. At that point, we often wished we had stayed in touch with good friends.
Does coupling reduce your friendship pool?
Have you ever thought about what a relationship will do to friendships? Let’s face it, when we enter into a romantic relationship most of us get a little neglectful of our friendships. It is just a part of the mating process. The more time you spend with your romantic partner the less time you have to spend with your girls. Some people try to keep a healthy balance and maintain the friendship. But once the relationship turns into a marital union, a lot of people start to look for other couples to become friends with so they can have the best of both worlds, time with their partner and outing with their friends. Also, when people start coupling and one partner does not like a friend of the other one; it is hard to maintain that friendship. It is not that you care less for your friends; it is just that your intimate relationship is something that you have made a commitment to secure.
Maintaining Friendships in Midlife
We all know that friendship changes after you get married or have children. With a relationship of any type, there is a decrease in the available time and a shift in your priorities.
We all know that friendships are important. Friendships provide us with the support that we need in our day to day lives and help us to not feel alone.
Maintaining friendships take time and effort. Learning to balance that time between your daily priorities can be tricky.
Have you been able to maintain your friendships?