Why Is Jane Married to Jack and Dreaming About Jill?

Are you wondering where I am going with this?   Why is Jane married to Jack and dreaming about Jill?   Well, I am not going where you think I am going with it!

I just had the pleasure of removing my child from a school where there was no shortage of wealth.  In fact, the principal or headmaster (as they are called in England) was so involved with the wealthy that he could not be bothered to take a phone call about a security risk because he was meeting with some of the wealthy parents about a formal ball.

Why, do you ask, am I airing the school’s dirty laundry? Over the course of the last week, our child has been freed from the dungeons of this school and enrolled in an incredible learning environment. As with most people, I wanted to go back and reflect on the situation. Out of every bad situation, there is a silver lining and a lesson to be learned—if we are prepared to heed it.

One of things that I learned during our two years at this school is that you are made to feel less valuable if you don’t have the income of the “EXTREMELY” wealthy. In most scenarios, we could not be considered paupers since we are paying five figures to educate our six year old. I have never been afflicted with wealth envy. I just do not see the need for it. I feel that most people have the wealth they have due to the efforts they put into their financial well-being. In America, we are lucky. With hard work, we can achieve most things.  You don’t have to have a six-figure income to have a savings account nor do you have to have a Harvard degree to land a good job.

Rags-to-riches stories abound.  Think about all the people who have accomplished financial success from Oprah Winfrey to Christopher Garner. Oprah was the victim of rape at the age of nine.  Christopher Garner spent time as a homeless person.  So, if you have a dream and you want it badly enough, with a little luck and a lot of hard work, you can achieve it.

That being said, have you ever wondered why Jane is married to Jack and dreaming about Jill?   What does that mean?

Let me give you a scenario…….

Let’s say that Jane met Jill at a school function or they are neighbors. Jane becomes friends with Jill because she is a great person. Jill and Jane decide to meet for lunch.

Jane pulls up in her minivan that needs a little work. Jill pulls up in her brand new Range Rover.  Jill gives Jane a hug.  She is happy to have a new friend. As Jane hugs Jill back, she notices on Jill’s hand there is a two or three-carat solitaire along with an equally stunning wedding band.

Jane and Jill sit down and have lunch.  Jane is busy thinking about the designer clothes Jill is wearing, the sixty-five-thousand-dollar car, and how her own Zale’s bridal set doesn’t hold a candle to the rock on Jill’s finger and what Jill’s home probably looks like.  She imagines Jill’s perfectly-maintained house, her well-mannered children, and her loving husband.

Jill completely forgets about how great her own life is with Jack.  Jack might have gotten her bridal set from Zale’s but he worked two jobs to do it.  Her children may attend public schools but they are all in AP classes. She might not have an eight-thousand-square-foot mansion but she has the best neighbors who care for and watch over her family.

As a woman, I have always wondered why we put ourselves in this position. Why do we meet another woman and automatically discount what we have, deeming her possessions more worthy than ours?

Why do we assume that another person’s life is more glamorous than our own simply because she has a bigger house, better jewelry, or more expensive shoes?

As Jane sat there discounting her own life, what did she not know about Jane’s?

Jill’s husband travels 50% of each week to another city.  Since he travels so much, they decided to buy a condo in the city.  Jill’s husband has never invited her to “his crash pad” because his girlfriend lives there.

Jill cries herself to sleep after her nightly bottle of wine.

Jill verbally assaults her children.

And Jill has frequent affairs looking for an emotional and physical connection to assuage her lonely marriage.

So, ladies, the next time you are sitting with Jill and discounting Jack because he has not given you everything that Jill appears to have, remember that appearances can be deceiving.  If you have happiness, be grateful for what you have! Riches are not always the tangible, monetary kind!