Can You Spare A Square?????
Can you spare a square? Ladies, I am sure that you know where I am going with this! There is nothing more annoying—especially if you have spent too much time on the phone and you are in a mad dash to get yourself to that porcelain lady of glory—than to discover that there is not even one square left on the roll.
WHO TOOK ALL OF THE TOLIET PAPER AND DIDN’T
REPLACE THE ROLL?
You are sitting there thinking. “What am I going to do?”
You call out. Of course, everyone in the house has suddenly become a victim of the Deaf Monster.
So, what are your choices?
• Drip Dry?
• Run through your house with your pants down until you can get the toilet paper on another floor?
• Continue yelling, hoping that someone will turn on his/her hearing aid?
You sit there drip drying, growing more furious by the moment.
After you have drip dried, you pull up your pants and before you can get a shower, you have to go yell at the only two people in the house who could be guilty of the empty roll syndrome.
Okay ladies! I know that we drip dried a hundred times in college while bar hopping. But, part of growing up is that you don’t bar hop as much anymore and you try to avoid finding yourself in situations where you have to drip dry. Especially in your own home! This is a NO DRIP DRY ZONE. THERE IS ALWAYS TOILET PAPER HERE.
So, you come racing out of the bathroom and down the stairs. You are waving the empty toilet paper roll in your hand like a battle flag. The two suspects are sitting on the sofa calmly watching television. They both look up at you. You know that look! It’s the monkey doing a math problem look. And you begin to shout.
“WHO TOOK ALL OF THE TOLIET PAPER AND
LEFT THE DARN ROLL EMPTY?”
Finally, my six-year-old, in a moment of brilliance, looks at me and says,
“Mom, obviously you did because you have the empty roll in your hand. Stop yelling at us and get a new roll.”
At that point, you walk away and think: I should have just left the empty roll for the next person, and pretended to be deaf when he/she calls. See how he/she likes drip drying!
So, what is there left to do but……
And move on with my day!