How Did the Aliens Get into My Bra?

With age, I have noticed that I have started to neglect some of the things in my wardrobe. I cannot say that I am doing it on purpose; it is just not something that I think about as often as I used to.   Maybe that is saying a little bit about me as well and my need to be pretty in hidden places. I am now looking for comfort during the day. I have paid my dues of 4 to5 in heels and skin tight dresses.

This morning, the pesky “friend” that lives beside my bed reminded me that it was 7:00 a.m. and I needed to greet another cold, rainy, dark, English day.   So, I got up and started my morning routine, turned on the computer, prayed for an email from someone other than Toys R Us, and took a shower.

After the shower, I pulled out the garment that a lot of us wish that we could skip for most of the day.  Yes, folks! I am talking about that over-the-shoulder- boulder-holder, more commonly known by your grandmother as a brassiere.

Anyone who has lived in England knows mornings are not known for warmth in the winter—even inside your house.  So, I wanted to get my garments on quickly. But, my bra was not fitting.  When it comes to lingerie, I don’t keep ones that no longer fit hoping that I will drop a size or two and get back into these undies later. I have been living with my girls for a long time. So I know there will be limited shrinkage in that area.

This morning, as I struggled to put on my boulder holder, it did not fit as well as it had last week.  In fact it seems more like a pasty than the cup of a bra. Well, if I was trying to get a little morning fun, it might have been just the thing. But that was not idea. I had to drive my child to school.

I looked down at my chest and thought: Is there an alien in my bra?  Not only had this strange creature jumped into my bra but he had inflated my girls and pumped them up another cup size.   A little concerning! Anyone one who knows me ~ knows that I could stand to give away a few cups so I don’t need aliens pumping up the jam in my brassiere.

Lately, I have been a bit more conscientious about not sleeping with my contacts in. I decided that I might need to see the facility my child is sure to stick me in when I am an old person. So I struggled to grab my glasses. As my eyes adjusted, I realized that in my sleepy haze, blurry vision, and need to block the draft of the English dampness, I had put my bra on backwards.  So that would explain the voluptuous cleavage and not-so-perfectly-fitting garment.

There were no aliens in my bra!  Just a blind woman having a typical Monday morning!

So if your Monday morning started as maniac as mine, leave the comment “Just another Maniac Monday” and tell us what made your morning so maniac.

The first five people who leave a comment will receive a $5.00 Starbucks gift card.