Does Anyone in Your House Have
the 18″ dia. x 22″H Syndrome?
Does anyone in your house have the 18″ dia. x 22″H Syndrome? I know that someone in your house MUST have it because there is an epidemic going around the country.
Over half the populations suffers from this ailment. There is no quick cure.
And, in case you are wondering? Yes! It highly contagious!
The only known prevention of the syndrome is becoming a Spinster. Are you puzzled? Are you wondering? Are you looking around the room, smelling your shoulder, looking in your coffee cup, panic thinking: Oh gosh! What the heck is it? How did it get in my house?
Well, basically, you bought it in when you said, “I do!” Okay, Okay! I will tell you what it is…. I am pulling out the wife dictionary right now.
18″ dia. x 22″H Syndrome
The 18″ dia. x 22″H Syndrome is an ailment that most men catch, once married. Even the most organized man, prior to marriage, is subject to getting this disorder. The syndrome causes men to miss the laundry basket. The alignment forces them to attempt to put laundry in the basket but to fall short, leaving dirty underwear next to the laundry bin, socks hanging over the edge of the bin, and tee shirts balled up behind the bin.
The syndrome also affects their backs. 18″ dia. x 22″H Syndrome causes agony in the male backs. Physical Therapists and Chiropractors have quit the profession over this syndrome.
18″ dia. x 22″H Syndrome makes it impossible for men to bend over and pick up the garment once it has fallen to the floor. It impairs their hands and fingers, making it hard for them to push the clothing hanging off the side into the bin. We tried to interview an orthopedic surgeon about possible treatment for 18″ dia. x 22″H Syndrome. He was just too distraught to discuss it.
Please note that your children can be easily infected with 18″ dia. x 22″H Syndrome syndrome as well.
Cure: Spinsterhood or an Old Maid
Now most of us, when we said the words, “I do!” knew there would be some laundry involved in our relationship. But, what we did not bargain for was the 18″ dia. x 22″H Syndrome. None of us got the manual on it. Our mothers, grandmothers, and married friends did not reach out and talk about the 18″ dia. x 22″H Syndrome. My grandmother was still trying to talk to me about the birds and the bees! (I did not have the heart to tell her that I have taken a few on a test run a couple of times and I repeated the incident on a regular basis to make sure that I liked the honey and the nectar.)Maybe if I had been honest about my taste testing, we could have moved on to a discussion of the 18″ dia. x 22″H Syndrome.
How do we cure 18″ dia. x 22″H Syndrome without having to go into the Spinsterhood or Old Maid lifestyle?
More laundry bins?
Trade your children for dolls?
Install a basketball hop near the laundry bin?
Draw illustrations? Leave a description of what a laundry bin is made for?
If you cannot beat them, join them?
Okay, you are right! There is only one logical solution—unless you don’t like your spouse. (That is a whole other topic for a different day.) So, my solution is another laundry hamper.
My grandmother once told me that you cannot teach an old dog new tricks. I will say that is probably true. So let’s just work on the little people that are walking around the house. Maybe if we cure them of the 18″ dia. x 22″H Syndrome in return they will guilt their daddy into resisting the syndrome as well.
So I sit here on my bed, realizing that my cooling pad is no longer working and my laptop may be giving me second or third degree burns, I am thinking: How can the Richly Middle Class team contribute to curing the 18″ dia. x 22″H Syndrome? I know that I came up with a list earlier.
Well I cannot get you another husband. I don’t want your children. But we can help you with a laundry hamper. So the first 2 people who leave a comment “I can help cure my kids of the 18″ dia. x 22″H Syndrome!” on this post will receive The Land of Nod I Think I Canvas Hamper.
As mothers we have to start somewhere to help prevent this syndrome from spreading to other generations.